We Have to Get Better At Getting It Wrong

Why is ‘getting it wrong’ so hard?

Because we are raised to fear getting things wrong.

In our colonial reality, we are taught to equate ‘wrong’ with being a bad person. We learn to avoid the label, rather than to act for the good of ourselves and others. We are taught that ‘owning up’ leads to punishment and shame, rather than repair and learning. We are not given the tools to emotionally regulate while holding the consequences of our actions. We are the children of a coloniser’s reality, in which harm is repeatedly caused on a mass scale, and no accountability is taken. Our blueprint is denial, guilt, shame and compounding of harm. For some of us, we experience Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria (RSD), fear of abandonment, fear of being misunderstood, when we are told (in different ways) that we ‘got it wrong’. This fear of getting it wrong is a colonial sickness that can and must be cured in order for us to reimagine the reality we wish to see. The remedy has three parts…

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